Operator, number, please:
It's been so many years
Will she remember my old voice,
While I fight the tears?
Hello, hello there, is this Martha?
This is old Tom Frost,
And I am calling long distance,
Don't worry 'bout the cost.
'Cause it's been forty years or more,
Now Martha, please recall,
Meet me out for coffee
Where we'll talk about it all.Tom Waits - Martha
"Shampoo no understand, great-grandmother. Why we close restaurant?"
Cologne sighed. Children. When you wanted them to work, they were forever loafing or trying to sneak off. Turn around and give them a day off, and they hung about the place annoying you. "I have some business to conduct, and you two would just be in the way. Shan Pu, why don't you go pester son-in-law while Mu Si follows along as usual to pester you in turn, all right? Now go. Go, go, go," she scolded as she shooed the two puzzled teens out the door.
She set out and filled two cups, and, after a moment's thought, placed the bottles on the table. No point in wasting any food on the old lecher. She vacillated for a moment, then set the third bottle on the floor beside her chair. She might not need it, but it didn't cost anything to be prepared. Suddenly, though she hadn't heard the door opening, she felt another presence in the room with her. "Hello, Happosai."
"Cologne," he grunted, grabbing the nearest cup. "I got your message. Sake, huh. Good." Happosai sat down and drained his cup before proceeding to pour another. "At least you still know how to serve decent liquor, even if you don't drink it yourself. Never could figure how you could stand that syrupy swill of yours."
"Excuse me for actually preferring a beverage with some flavor," Cologne replied dryly, sipping her plum wine.
"So what's up?"
Cologne hesitated. This was going to be tricky. She would be probing old wounds, but he needed to be told. "It's about Ranma...."
"Ha!" Happosai slapped the table. "I knew it. Well, you can forget it. Ranma will never marry Shampoo. He's marrying Akane. I've worked and waited too many years for this to let anyone get in the way."
Cologne blinked, momentarily diverted. "What do you mean, too many years?"
After tossing back another cupful, he grinned at her. "Isn't it strange that I almost never go after Akane except when Ranma's around? Didn't you ever wonder why I kept that moxibustion chart, enabling you to cure Ranma's weakness? Who do you think suggested the idea of uniting their families in the first place? For that matter, why did I take on two students to be trained as my heirs to begin with, splitting the school, when you know the tradition has always been that each master trains one, and only one, heir?" He paused, staring at the cup in his hands without really seeing it, before continuing softly, "Ever since I completed my training by killing my old master, I've worked toward ending the curse on my school. When a child of Ranma and Akane begins training in the school, my work will be complete." He raised his eyes to regard her coldly, his voice hardening. "I won't let anything interfere with this. Not even you."
She stared at him in some astonishment. "I never realized - and yet it makes sense of so much," she said, half to herself. "I thought you'd forgotten about it after the curse finally overcame you. So this is all part of the plan you've been working on since that time in Tibet."
Happosai nodded. "And it's working too," he said, his voice softening. "Soun and Genma are less affected by the curse than I am, and Ranma and Akane even less than that. I hadn't planned on the Nyannichuan, but even that is working in my favor.
"I don't see why you want Ranma anyway," he went on. "Sure, he's a decent martial artist, with a lot of potential, but he's rude, crude, and arrogant as all get out. He doesn't give you much respect, even after all you've done for him; I can just imagine how he'd react to some of those old bags running the village." He thought for a moment. "Pantyhose-Taro might make a worse Amazon husband than Ranma, but I don't know anyone else who would."
"Exactly."
"What?" He stared at her. "What do you - oh, I get it. You're back on your modernization kick."
Cologne gave him a level look. "I've never been off it." She took a sip of her drink. "I'd been inclined that way in any event, of course, even before I met Lao, and I made up my mind when we were living in America all those years ago. Their culture was crass and boorish, but I could see even then it would become dominant, and I was correct. We must learn to adapt to the modern world, or go under. If I can manage to get Ranma to come back to the village, he should give those old fossils on the council a jolt - a male who won't back down, and who can out-fight the best of them. Using him as my wedge, I might be able to pry open a few minds back home."
Happosai frowned at her. "I can see that, I guess. It's just that when I heard about Shampoo giving Ranma the Kiss of Death, I figured you must have gone back to traditional Amazon ways."
"Believe me, that was none of my doing," Cologne said with a wince. "You remember my daughter and I didn't get along very well. During the years I was away she made sure that my granddaughter was raised in a very traditional fashion, emphasizing all the rights and duties of an Amazon warrior, even the ones that are generally considered obsolete in this day and age. When Shampoo was born, she was raised the same way, despite my best efforts. I exercised what control I could, but my daughter and granddaughter combined to subvert the very customs they claimed to revere," she sneered, "and limited my influence. Shampoo learned to respect me, as all the traditions enjoin, but she never really listened to me. Unfortunately, when Ranma came through, I was traveling away from the village, trying to find her a suitable husband. When she actually gave Ranma the Kiss of Death in a fit of rage over her loss, even many of the traditionalists on the council were shocked." She shook her head. "No one had given a Kiss of Death in three hundred years! Once she'd invoked the law in front of the whole village, though, it was too late."
"So why come back here with her after she gave up the first time?"
"Politics," she sighed. "There are still too many traditionalists on the council - I couldn't kill them all. With my heir in disgrace, my own position was weakened. On the other hand, if I can bring this mess to some sort of acceptable end, I will make up everything I've lost and more. I'm not terribly happy about the situation, mind you. I've grown rather fond of Ranma, and I know Lao would be furious with me if he knew what was going on."
"Heh heh! That's for sure," Happosai said, smiling reminiscently. "Lao didn't give a rap for Amazon traditions, and he wasn't shy about saying it, either. He never did settle down the way he was supposed to, did he?" He stopped short. "Come to think of it," he said slowly, "Lao Shen had more than a few things in common with Ranma, didn't he?"
Cologne flushed slightly, hoping that he wouldn't notice. "Yes, I'll admit Ranma does remind me of my late husband. There's nothing wrong with that, is there?" she asked defensively. "After all, he'd be helping carry on the work that Lao started."
Happosai eyed her intently. "And can you guarantee that what happened to Lao wouldn't happen to him?"
Cologne said nothing for a long moment, feeling again the old, burning anger. It had not dimmed with the passage of decades; it had rather intensified and concentrated. "As an elder, I'm much better placed to protect Ranma than I was to protect Lao," she said softly. "And if I were to fail..." she bared her teeth suddenly. "If I were to fail, I would have no compunction about tearing the village apart to get my vengeance. I was too young and too weak when Lao died to do anything without proof, and I had to leave the village to carry out his dying request and deliver those scrolls."
"I'm sure it will be a great comfort to Ranma, as he lies dying, to know that you'll avenge him," Happosai said acidly.
Cologne bit back the angry retort that rose to her lips and
mentally shook herself. "This is all very well, but it's not what I
wanted to talk to you about. You see, I saw Yukana yesterday."
(Chorus:)
And those were days of roses,
Poetry and prose and Martha
All I had was you and all you had was me.
There was no tomorrows,
We'd packed away our sorrows
And we saved them for a rainy day.Ibid.
The cup froze halfway to his lips. "Yukana Takizawa?"
"Yes."
With exaggerated care, he set the cup down untasted. "Where?"
"At one of Ranma's fights. She was watching him."
His cup shattered as his fists clenched, but he paid the resulting cuts and the stinging alcohol no mind. "That bitch!" he snarled. "So she thinks she can drag Ranma into her plans, and use him as she used us? I'll kill her before I let that happen! That cold-hearted, conniving, lying," his voice broke off as he noticed the expression on Cologne's face. She seemed to be looking at something behind him. He grimaced. "Since I didn't hear anyone enter, and I can't sense anyone but us in the whole restaurant, I'd guess that means she's standing right behind me."
Cologne nodded.
"Very good, Happosai." The low, musical voice caressed his ears as the tall woman with the dark-green hair took a seat at the table with them. "I see you haven't lost your touch, even after all these years. Hello, Ke Lun."
"And I see you're still as beautiful as ever, even after all these years, my dear Yukana," he said with glacial politeness, his words belied by the expression of disgust on his face. Her beauty pulled at him, but his anger was, for the time being, more than sufficient to overcome his lust.
"You're too kind," she responded imperturbably. "I should tell you that I go by the name Setsuna Meiou these days. Ah, thank you, dear," she added, as Cologne wordlessly set a bottle and glass before her. "You even remembered my fondness for ouzo."
"Setsuna. Is that the only name you're going by?" Cologne asked suddenly.
Setsuna eyed her with a look that might have been called uncertain in someone less self-assured. "What do you mean?"
"I've seen pictures in the newspaper recently. Young girls in short skirts fighting monsters. Outfits similar to those some Japanese schoolgirls wear. I think the papers called them the 'Sailor Senshi.'" Cologne paused. "When I first saw them, they reminded me of something, but I couldn't remember what until I saw you again. Happy," she said, turning to him, "do you recall the time she magically transformed herself, during that nasty business with Madame Mandilip's demonic dolls?"
He looked thoughtful for a moment, then his brow cleared as he leered at the slightly discomfited woman sitting with them. "How could I forget? That little peep show was quite a treat, and I have to admit the skirt really suited you. Good heavens," he said, in a sudden burst of nostalgia, "that was more than fifty years ago."
"I know," Setsuna grumbled. "You'd have thought at least one of you would have managed to forget after all that time."
Happosai grinned at her, his ill humor momentarily abated by the sight of her displeasure. "Not a chance. In fact, it's one of those memories that I like to pull up at odd moments, to help warm these old bones."
"What a charming thought," she said, with a slight shudder.
With an impatient wave, Cologne returned to her question. "So, are you one of these 'Sailor Senshi'?" she inquired.
Setsuna hesitated. "Yes," she answered slowly, "although so far I haven't been seen in public, and the others have only met my future self. As you may have surmised, I am known as Sailor Pluto."
Happosai's anger returned. "How fitting that you should be associated with the god of the dead." He glared at her. "How many innocents are you planning to drag into your schemes this time? And have you told them what their only reward is likely to be?"
"And were you such an innocent when I dragged you in?" she returned coolly. He flushed, but said nothing. "And do you so much regret your involvement in Justice, Inc.?"
"Justice, Inc. What a laugh!" he sneered. "Where was the justice in what happened in that last battle? Allard vanished, the Newtons and Smitty butchered, Mac and Vincent torn to bits, Benson gutted," he stopped abruptly and looked at Cologne in time to see the anguish that briefly twisted her features. His anger dwindled rapidly. "I - I'm sorry, Cologne, I -"
Regaining control, she waved a hand dismissively. "It's all right, I've gotten over it," she lied. "After all, it was a long time ago."
Happosai paused, his wrath dissipating further as he recalled the scene almost fifty years before. He and Cologne surrounded by the dead and the dying, human and inhuman. Richard Benson, the second man Cologne had ever loved, dying in her arms, his agony made somehow more unbearable to watch by the fact that his dead-white face never changed expression. "Why?" the old martial artist said at last, the word both an accusation and a plea for understanding.
Setsuna sighed. "I could tell you that I didn't know they would die then, and that would be true. That's not all there is to it, though."
She paused to marshal her thoughts, then continued. "You both know that everything I've done has been in the service of a plan I have spent my life trying to implement. I've been working at this for longer than you would readily believe, and I still have many years to go. The fact that I can see the shape of future events has obviously been a great asset. What I have not been at pains to advertise is that I'm not always right.
"My worst mistake was my failure for centuries, until shortly before our first meeting, to recognize the hand of a hidden adversary at work, disrupting everything I had striven for. I devised a plan to fight back, and brought you two together in Tibet in time to meet the Shadow as he fought Shiwan Khan." She frowned. "It was well I did so, or Kent Allard would have died there, and the Shadow's career would have been cut short - more evidence of my enemy's tampering."
Cologne stared off into the distance, remembering that fateful
meeting, and everything that had led up to it.
And I feel so much older now,
And you're much older too,
How's your husband?
And how's the kids?
You know that I got married too?
Lucky that you found someone
To make you feel secure,
'Cause we were all so young and foolish,
Now we are mature.(Repeat chorus)
Ibid.
It had all started for her at Lao's deathbed. As he lay dying - of poison, she had suspected, but could not prove - he had asked her to deliver the ancient scrolls and texts that were the only legacy he had from his long-dead father to his younger brother, Eng-hee. "He's something of a rascal and a wastrel, but he's the last of our line, and so the duty falls to him," he gasped out.
She wiped the sweat from his brow. "Just lie back," she said softly, her heart breaking as she saw how pale and weak he had become, a shadow of the healthy, vital man she had fallen in love with. He had always been slender, even slight; now he was wasted to the point of emaciation. At least his gaze remained clear and steady; the constant pain had not dulled the shining black pools of his eyes, the eyes that had ensnared her at their first meeting twenty years ago while he was on the run from Yuan Shih-k'ai's hired killers.
"Please, Ke Lun," he said, reaching up to grasp her wrist with what strength he could muster. "The signs point to the evil sorcerer Lo Pan rising again within this century. Without the knowledge these scrolls contain, it may not be possible to stop him, save at the cost of many lives."
"I think you're just trying to get me out of the village," she chided him gently.
"That too," he admitted with the ghost of a chuckle. "If the old hags decide you haven't learned your lesson, you could be next. Even if I didn't value your life as I do, though, those scrolls will do no good sitting in a backwater like this while Lo Pan goes looking for his bride."
Her hands clenched into fists. "So I just let them get away with this," she said bleakly. "Let them kill you and turn our daughter against us and get away scot-free."
He winced at the mention of their daughter and fell silent for a moment. Nichiezu custom dictated that the oldest females in the family controlled the rearing of the female children, a practice that acted to reinforce the unchanging nature of Amazon society. Ke Lun had never gotten along with her mother or her grandmother, and that had only been exacerbated after she fell in love with and married Lao Shen. A follower of the late Dr. Sun Yat-sen, he had, in her family's view, infected her with his foreign ideas. Her family had countered by bringing up their daughter Lin Yao to be as hidebound and reactionary as any elder. In recent days, Ke Lun and Lin Yao couldn't even be in the same room without arguing violently.
"The only thing I can tell you," he said finally, "is that they will get their comeuppance one day. You must live, my dear one. Despite everything, I know your people are important to you, and I firmly believe you are the only one who can set them on the right path. Without you, the Nichiezu will be extinct within a century. For your own sake, for the sake of your tribe, for the sake of Lo Pan's future victims, please heed my request."
In the end, of course, she had. After his death, she simply couldn't bear staying on in the hut that had been their private refuge. She couldn't stand the looks of barely veiled triumph on the faces of some of the elders. Worst of all, though, was the bitter expression her daughter now wore. She had apparently discovered, a little too late, that she had loved her father. Unwilling to blame herself or the women who had killed him, Lin Yao placed the responsibility for her estrangement from Lao and his subsequent death on her own mother. Ke Lun was simply too weary and heartsick to endure life in the village any more, and grasped desperately at her promise to Lao as a way out.
The task of locating the elusive Eng-hee Shen proved more difficult than she had anticipated. She began with the return address of his last letter to his brother, only to learn he hadn't been there in three years. Over the next several months, she followed him by the trail of barroom brawls and unpaid bills, and a whole string of women ranging the spectrum from outraged to regretful.
Finally, at a lamasery in Tibet, she'd had her nearest miss yet. He'd been there only two weeks before, transacting unspecified business. That was the good news. The bad news was that he had hooked up with a departing American archeological expedition and was now on his way to the United States. The worse news was that, after paying his bills and cleaning up behind him as she traveled, as Lao would have wanted, she was nearly broke. By the time she could acquire enough money to pay for her passage, he would be lost among the teeming millions of that vast nation.
She swung her pack up onto her back and walked down the narrow path from the lamasery gates as she tried to decide upon her next move. She was still bound by her promise to Lao, but it did not compel her to follow his brother's peregrinations through every bar and brothel in the world. She could return to the village and prosecute the search from there. American had a significant Chinese population; it wouldn't be difficult to pass a message for one Eng-hee or "Egg" Shen, as the Americans had apparently taken to calling him.
Ke Lun considered this course of action, but rejected it. She could find him more swiftly if she was on hand to direct the search, and there was nothing she wanted back home. She had recovered from the worst of her grief, but her other reasons for leaving remained. Her daughter was seventeen and well beyond her influence or control. Nor did the prospect of going back and treating the old crones she suspected of her husband's murder with the deference they considered their due appeal to her.
The deciding factor, though, was that, contrary to her initial expectations, she was enjoying herself. She had always loved traveling and encountering new people. The happiest time of her life had been on her journey to hunt down Happosai, especially the trek around China she and Lao had taken after their marriage, and this trip helped her to relive some of those blissful days. And if any foolish males thought to take advantage of a lone female journeying through their lands, she was still more than willing to advance the cause of gender equality by showing them that women were not always predestined to play the role of victim.
"Hey there, cutie," a voice called from behind her. "You look like you could use a little company."
Oh, wonderful. What was he doing here? She turned around. "Hello, Happosai."
"Cologne?"
"What are you doing here? I can't imagine you'll find much in the way of cute young women to prey upon at a lamasery, unless you're branching out into men as well."
"Don't be ridiculous," the diminutive martial arts master said austerely, falling into step beside her. "I am here on a quest. I had a tip that I might get some help toward lifting my curse."
"And did you?"
"Maybe," he said thoughtfully. "They told me that the curse itself is much too powerful for them to simply dispel. Apparently, some hope lies in the nature of the curse.
"If it were a simple curse," he continued, warming to his tale, "like turning into an animal on the night of a full moon, let's say, the only way to handle a curse this powerful would be to find the specific counter-spell. I don't imagine the demon that helped create the Anything-Goes School all those centuries ago would be willing to tell me that, even if I could find him, but fortunately this curse is fairly complex.
"From the day I started my training the curse went to work, tying my growing strength and skill in the art to one of my major weaknesses. Once I had learned enough, I was forced to kill my master, who by that time was so far gone in his drunkenness his 'training' mainly consisted of attempts to kill me. Now I face the prospect of years trying to control my growing lust, until the time comes when the curse forces me to take a student, whom I will abuse and mistreat, knowing all the while that the day will come when he will kill me and continue the cycle.
"Like I said, not a simple curse at all. The monks were able to give me some ideas on how I can play the different parts of the curse off against each other, and on how I can resist giving in to the - urges - the lust brings out in me."
"Such as?" she asked, honestly interested.
"Well, take the two of us here," he said. "Now, the curse would like nothing better than for me to molest you right here and now." Seeing her tense, he held up his hands in a placating gesture. "I'm not going to try that, and I hope I never get that far gone. I already knew that simply groping you would satisfy my urges for a while. They pointed out that having you beat me up does the same thing, in terms of having contact with a woman. Finally, I can use substitutes such as women's underwear. It doesn't give me quite the same charge that a little of the old slap and tickle does, but it works."
"I suppose having an underwear thief roaming around is preferable to a serial molester," Ke Lun said dryly. "Let me know if your urges get to be too much - I'll be more than happy to pummel you."
"Like I said, don't worry," he told her with a grin. "You're still mighty good-looking and all, but I wouldn't want to get Lao mad at me." He glanced around. "Where is the old goat, by the way? Are you meeting him somewhere?"
She strode down the path in silence for a time, before saying quietly, "He's dead."
"What? What happened?" asked Happosai with genuine shock and concern.
She told him the whole story, including her suspicions, and the journey she had undertaken.
"Damn them," he growled. "They'll pay for this."
"Yes, they will," she replied calmly. "But nothing good will come of rushing into this. As far as I'm concerned, my revenge won't be complete unless I'm there to watch the last of them die. Nor would Lao want you to die avenging him."
"True," Happosai admitted, with a melancholy smile. "I always told him he was a little too soft for his own good. But he was my friend - my best friend, from the first day we met when he arrived in Tokyo looking to join Dr. Sun and his T'ung-meng Hui. I was glad when I found out the two of you were going to get married - even if you did have the poor taste to reject me when we first met," he added with a smirk.
Before Ke Lun could reply to this gibe, the stillness of the morning was shattered by the sound of gunfire and an inhuman yowling. The two martial artists glanced swiftly at each other and then ran toward the clamor.
They topped a small rise and stopped dead. Before them was a large clearing and two figures locked in combat.
One was a tall man dressed in black, including a long black cloak, his features obscured by a black slouch hat, and by the fact that it was extremely difficult to focus on him. Their eyes kept shifting away from him, and it was only by dint of concentrated effort that they could stay focused on him.
The other was a small, stocky man with a shaved head, dressed in a simple tunic and pants. There was nothing immediately noteworthy in his appearance, until he moved. Ke Lun had never seen such speed and grace before. He attacked the man in black with great slashing motions of his hands, and although he never seemed to come near him, great rents opened in the cloaked man's garments. After each attack, he settled back down on hands and feet, as if he were an animal of some sort, rather than a man, before leaping in again, giving vent to shrieking cries of rage that should have come from some great beast.
The man in black was not a particularly poor fighter, but Ke Lun saw that he was seriously outclassed. Only the fact that he was so difficult to see was keeping him alive, that and the bullet he had put into the smaller man's shoulder before his twin pistols had been knocked from his grasp.
"What the hell is this?" Happosai demanded of her. "The bigger guy's using a version of an old invisibility technique I've seen before, though never so well done, but the other one - I've seen animal styles before, but never like that!"
"I've only read about it," Ke Lun replied in an urgent undertone, "but that must be the fabled Neko-ken. The master, or more properly victim, is possessed by the spirit of a cat-demon. As a result, he gains great speed and strength, as well as an insatiable thirst for human blood. Most dangerous of all, though, are the invisible claws he wields, sharper than any blade forged by mortal hands. I don't know the particulars of this quarrel, but I think we must intervene. The man in black may be a friend or a foe, but a master of the Neko-ken in trance state is an enemy of all who live!"
Without another word they leaped in to join the unequal battle. Though they had more often fought against each other than side-by-side, each was familiar enough with the other's style to make an effective partner. They drove the possessed martial artist back, always avoiding the deadly claws, but unable, it seemed, to inflict any significant damage. Ke Lun was beginning to think they might regret their hasty decision, when two shots rang out. Their opponent stiffened, then dropped to the ground. Two neat holes had appeared in the middle of his forehead, but the back of his head was not quite so tidy - indeed most of it was gone.
Ke Lun looked up to see the man in black holstering the pistols their intervention had given him time to reclaim. He removed his hat and inclined his head to them, a gesture seeming almost regal in its solemnity. "I thank you for your aid. I knew Shiwan Khan wanted me dead, but I underestimated the resources at his command. In this guise men call me - the Shadow, though my real name is Kent Allard. I have dedicated my life to fighting the evil that spawns and employs such monsters as that."
He regarded them calmly with a hooded gaze. "A Miss Takizawa told me I would be helped by two people who might be willing to assist me in the future. Having seen you fight, there's no question that you have the ability to help me. The question is, do you have the desire? You would accompany me to America as the servants of millionaire Lamont Cranston, one of my frequent guises - at least that would be your cover. Your true work would be to aid in my fight against crime. Will you come with me?"
Ke Lun and Happosai looked at each other. "It's an easy decision on my part," Ke Lun said. "I'll be one step closer to locating Lao's brother, and I certainly have no desire to go back to the village yet. What about you, Happy?"
Happosai scratched his chin thoughtfully. "Being among millions of people - millions of women - might be asking for trouble, but it might also be the best way to handle my curse. Certainly I could steal underwear for years and barely cause a ripple. And it would give me time to make some plans for the future. Hmm. Okay, I'll go along. It might be fun."
And it had indeed been fun, Cologne thought. Sometimes it had grated, acting the part of a menial, but the men who worked for the Shadow had quickly come to respect her abilities, and she truly felt she was doing something useful. And then a few years later she had met Richard Benson, the Avenger, and fallen in love again.
He wasn't the most likely looking swain she had ever had. His hair was white, and his face was pale and wan, almost ghost-like, while his expression never changed, was indeed unable to do so after the tragic loss of his wife and child to a criminal conspiracy had paralyzed his facial muscles; but he shared the same force of personality that the Shadow possessed in abundance, while coupling it with a vulnerability that echoed the ache in her own heart.
They had both been reluctant to rush into another relationship, both reluctant to open themselves up so soon after the losses they had suffered. So they had waited while they grew closer, until their feelings for each other were an open secret to all their comrades in Justice, Inc. They had waited, in fact, until it was too late - their first professions of love coming as Richard Benson lay dying on the field of battle.
Ke Lun's first loss had driven her forth from the village into the great wide world beyond. Her second loss drove her back home again, to hide from the world that had deprived her of her second chance at happiness. Back in the village, she sublimated her grief and rage into a meticulously planned and executed campaign of revenge. It took her eight years, but eventually she stood triumphant over the slowly cooling corpse of the last of the old women who had contrived her husband's demise. It was supposed to be against the laws of the village to kill a member of the council, but she had realized what many another ambitious or driven person had throughout history - the only real crime was getting caught.
And so the exile had returned full circle to the place of her
birth, taking up the struggle to drag her people kicking and screaming
into the future. She never spoke of the things she'd done and seen
in the world outside - no need to give her opponents any ammunition
to use against her - and as the years went by she thought of those
days less and less. It had come as a great shock to her to encounter
Happosai once again, but they had adhered to a long-ago vow and never
spoke of their years together where anyone else might hear. Even then
they had avoided certain subjects as simply too painful. Now all those
memories came rushing back in a great wave compounded equally of
pleasure and pain.
And I was always so impulsive,
I guess that I still am,
And all that really mattered then
Was that I was a man.
I guess that our being together
Was never meant to be.
And Martha, Martha,
I love you can't you see?(Repeat chorus)
Ibid.
"Then if you saved Allard by bringing us into the picture, why did it all go wrong? Why were you unable to prevent their deaths?" Cologne asked in a tone only partially accusatory.
"More tampering, and another error on my part," Setsuna admitted soberly. "I knew the enemy would react to my efforts at bringing you two to work together with the Shadow. I countered by giving certain American government officials the idea of requiring the Shadow to join forces with the Avenger in an expanded Justice, Inc. It wasn't hard - they knew and trusted Benson, while the Shadow was a complete unknown, so with the imminent advent of war they were easily persuaded that national security demanded a certain level of accountability from such a powerful vigilante. And it worked," she reminded them earnestly. "The Shadow and his men, aided by you two, and the Avenger, together with his aides, were able to handle anything that the enemy threw at them. When Justice, Inc. encountered Masado Banzai and Sandra Willoughby during their fight with their nemesis, Hanoi Xan, head of the World Crime League, in Burma in '43, it seemed the obvious thing to do to invite them in, making your little group even stronger. I kept an eye on you all, but you didn't even need my help.
"So when we got word in '47 that Shiwan Khan was taking advantage of the civil war in China to make his final bid for control of all Asia, I had no compunction in allowing your group to handle it while I dealt with an invasion from another world."
"An invasion?" a startled Happosai asked. He thought for a moment, then said, "You mean all those stories about flying saucers back then were real?"
"Many of them. It took me by surprise at the time, for I didn't think there were any worlds nearby that would risk the anger of the forces protecting us. After it was all over, I got rid of most of the evidence, blurred some memories, and generally made sure that no one would find any conclusive evidence of what had happened. Unfortunately, by that time the worst had happened. Unbeknownst to me, Khan had allied himself with Hanoi Xan, and together they managed to raise a great army of ghouls. I didn't learn about it until the fight was over, leaving you two, along with Masado and Sandra, as the sole survivors.
"Fortunately, you four did survive, or my plans would have been completely overthrown."
"And then Masado and Sandra died, killed by that bastard Xan," Happosai growled. Cologne looked up sharply, seeing the bitterness etched on his wrinkled face. He had loved Sandra Willoughby, she recalled, not passionately, as she had loved Richard Benson, but avuncularly, and Sandra had reciprocated, calling him, "Uncle Happy." Even in his worst fits of curse-induced lust, he had never bothered Sandra. "I hope that didn't upset your precious plans."
"I was saddened by their deaths," Setsuna told him seriously. "Take what comfort you will from knowing that they lived at least ten years longer than they would have had they not joined Justice, Inc."
Happosai did not look mollified, but Cologne was more interested in a sudden realization she had come to. "You said that your enemy had interfered in Tibet, and that the Shadow would have died there?" Seeing Setsuna's nod, she continued, "Then - considering what we rescued him from, that would mean this enemy of yours was responsible for Khan sending a Neko-ken master after Allard?"
"Unquestionably," Setsuna nodded. "There shouldn't even have been any living Neko-ken masters in this century."
Cologne's eyes widened. "Does that mean this enemy is also responsible for Ranma learning the Neko-ken?"
"What are you talking about?" Happosai asked irritably. "Ranma doesn't know the Neko-ken."
"Actually, he does," Cologne informed him. "I saw it with my own eyes. Apparently, his father subjected him to the training when he was ten."
Happosai paled. "Gods, no! That fat idiot! This ruins everything! Now there's -" he stopped short. "Wait a minute. There's no way Ranma could have learned the Neko-ken six years ago. He would have gone over completely by now, unless somehow he's been incredibly lucky and managed to avoid being exposed to cats since then."
"Not at all," Cologne said. "He's entered the cat state three times that I know of since my arrival here." She caught the old man's eyes as she emphasized her next words. "Once from exposure to a room full of cats, including a tiger. Once from proximity to a gigantic Ghost-Cat. And once deliberately, with a cat clinging to his face. He's seen cats a number of other times, particularly Shan Pu's cursed form, and done nothing more than dash about in a panic until he runs into something. It seems he used to go under fairly easily, but it's happening less frequently as the years go by."
"But that's backwards," Happosai protested. "The longer the human soul and the cat soul are bound, the more the cat soul is supposed to dominate."
Cologne nodded. "I know. One other interesting point. As far as I can tell, in the years since Ranma underwent the Neko-ken training, he's never killed anyone."
"What?" The old martial artist was looking more and more confused. "I know we both checked up on the Neko-ken after that business in Tibet. In any case I read about, it was a rare event when the triggering of the cat state didn't result in a blood bath. And Ranma's never killed anyone? How?"
"I fought him in that state once," Cologne said, looking off into the distance. "When I realized what was happening, I was certain I was going to have to kill him, until I noticed something peculiar. He shredded all my attacks with ease, but never once tried to hurt me. When the Tendo girl called to him, he leaped into her arms, curled up in her lap, and went to sleep." She frowned reflectively. "I talked to him about it later, and learned that he wasn't terribly enamored of the Neko-ken as a technique. Apparently, he gets easily distracted by things like catnip and balls of yarn. It occurred to me at the time that it sounded more like a Kitten-Fist, if there were such a thing, than the true Cat-Fist."
Happosai massaged his forehead. "I don't get it. Even if he's not malicious in that state, unlike everyone else who's ever learned the Neko-ken, think about those claws. He should be hurting and killing people accidentally, just trying to play with them. The amount of control it would take not to hurt anyone doesn't exactly fit in with the nature of the Neko-ken."
"I know," Cologne said quietly. "That uncertainty is one of the things that has made me hesitant to help Shampoo any further." She turned her gaze toward Setsuna. "Perhaps you can resolve the discrepancy. Were either you or your enemy responsible for Ranma undergoing the Neko-ken training, with such anomalous results?"
Setsuna shook her head. "It wasn't my idea, and it seems unlikely to be my enemy. Nor do I know why Ranma's experience has been so unusual."
"But you're still planning on using him," Happosai stated flatly. "It doesn't really make any difference if it was all your doing, or this supposed enemy of yours, he's still nothing but a pawn, a tool, just as we were."
Setsuna slid her glass around the table in a circular motion, gazing into the swirling liquid. After a time she said evenly, "Yes, Ranma is my pawn, my tool. If it weren't for my intervention, he would never even have been born. I don't suggest that he therefore owes me anything, but the fact is that I need to use him to save more lives than you can readily imagine. I haven't given him a choice, but I don't think he'd refuse if I gave him one." She looked up at Happosai with a raised eyebrow.
Happosai scowled, but didn't disagree.
"For that matter, aren't you using him yourself? Oh, don't look so startled. I'm well aware of your plan to end your curse; in fact, I'm a bit surprised by how well thought out it is. Still, you're using him just as much as I am, so don't come the outraged moralist with me," she said, a trifle waspishly. "The question is, what will you do, Happosai? I didn't come here today to reminisce over the past, or hash out old arguments. I'm asking for your help."
"Now you're asking?" he said bitterly. "That's a switch. Why should I? Why don't you do your own dirty work for a change, and just leave me out of it, okay?"
"Does loyalty to former comrades count for nothing, then?" she asked coolly.
"We're not comrades."
"I didn't mean me," she replied, unfazed by his simmering anger. "I referred to Justice, Inc."
Happosai frowned. "Who do you mean? Even if Allard survived falling off that cliff, he'd almost certainly be dead of old age by now, just like Burbank and the others that didn't make the final trip. As you pointed out, aside from Cologne and myself, Masado and Sandra were the only ones who weren't killed in that last battle, and they died when that Jet Car of theirs exploded."
"Do you feel no duty towards their son, then?"
He winced. "Gods, why are you doing this to me? Reminding me of all my failures.... After he was kidnapped, I searched for him, just as I told Sandra I would. For three years, I looked. Finally, I confirmed what I had suspected - their son had been snatched on orders from Hanoi Xan. Of course, Xan had had the kidnapers killed, and that was the end of it. Only Xan knows for sure what became of him, but there's no way he would have let the boy live, and not have made some use of him before now."
Cologne, watching Setsuna closely, saw the fleeting change in her expression. She couldn't quite decide what kind of change it was, but she was suddenly certain that the ageless woman before them knew what had happened to that child - and also that Setsuna would tell them only if and when it suited her.
"I wasn't referring to their first child, but to their second son, Buckaroo," the guardian of time told Happosai.
He blinked. "Buckaroo? I don't recall hearing anything about another son."
"How could you have missed it?" Cologne asked in surprise. "He hasn't made the headlines as much in recent days as he used to, but I would have thought the name of Buckaroo Banzai was known to anyone who could read a newspaper."
With the slight smile that had so often annoyed them in years gone by, Setsuna remarked, "You have to remember that our friend was shut up in that cave shortly before the fanfare over the founding of the Banzai Institute. Since his recent return, I imagine his little - problem - has kept him from paying particular attention to the few references that have appeared."
Happosai sat still, a blank expression on his face. "Another child," he said slowly. "Sandra's son, still alive. How - how is he?"
"Very well indeed. If you wish, you can look up the details of his career in any library. Buckaroo Banzai - particle physicist, surgeon, musician, adventurer."
"That's - that's good news," Happosai admitted reluctantly. "But what does that have to do with Ranma, and the help you want from me?"
Again Cologne noticed an odd hesitancy in Setsuna's response, as if she were conducting an internal debate with herself.
"Buckaroo is going to get involved in some very serious problems in the near future. Some he may well be able to handle on his own, but in a few years he'll be forced into a final confrontation with Hanoi Xan, most likely by attempting an invasion of Sabah, Xan's hidden fortress in the jungles of Southeast Asia, in an effort to rescue his wife. He is not likely to return from that fight, and unfortunately there is little I can do about it; I have been unable to view Xan or gain any direct knowledge of his activities since the end of Justice, Inc., thanks to my enemy's intervention. I believe that Ranma can make the difference if I can prepare him properly, and that is where I need your help."
"All right, you win, damn it," Happosai groaned, throwing up his hands in capitulation. "I should have known. You always did manage to get your way."
"Not always," Setsuna reminded him wryly. "If that were true, you would have been off playing cards with Shrevnitz and Marsland, instead of being home when the Voodoo Master's goons broke in, nearly getting yourself killed."
"Heh. We got out of it okay, didn't we? I admit Allard was plenty ticked, though. We really made a mess of his living room."
"I remember who cleaned most of it up, too," Cologne retorted. "But I think he was more annoyed with you that time he found your underwear stash."
"Man, what a prude he was," Happosai laughed. "Remember the time...."
They talked for hours, recounting old adventures. They relived their strange encounter with the Crimson Corsair and his Phantom Fleet. They shuddered once more, remembering Baron Samedi and his horrific Zombie Plague. They laughed anew at old jokes and puzzled again over old mysteries.
"Speaking of mysteries," Happosai asked, "did you ever figure out what happened to Benson's brother Jim and that ship of his, the 'Susan Ann'? All we were ever able to get out of the two survivors was a weird story about some 'Black Wheel', and the whole ship disappearing."
Setsuna frowned. "The doctor mentioned the name 'Irsuley' after I convinced him he could tell me the truth. All I know is that it's the name of one of the realms accessible from Earth. There are a number of them, some actual physical places much like this world, while others are more symbolic abstractions than anything else, and very difficult to describe in any sensible manner. Irsuley is such a realm. Somehow they must have found a passage through." She knocked back a healthy draught of her drink, and continued, "For a variety of reasons, Irsuley is not one of the realms I have ready access to, but I believe most of the missing people made it there safely. You remember the doctor had fallen in love with Penny, Jim Benson's daughter, and was trying to find a way to rejoin her. He disappeared about a year after I last talked to him, and I was able to find no trace of him. The odd thing is that a few years later, in 1955, a baby girl was abandoned on the doorstep of the house that I owned as Yukana Takizawa. I was completely unable to find her parents or much of anything else about her; the only interesting thing was that her eyes were a vivid purple, just as Penny Benson's had been."
"You think she could be Richard's great-niece?" a startled Cologne asked.
"Certain tests indicated that," Setsuna said idly, studying the remains of her drink. "I gave her up for adoption to a couple I knew, and she later died in a fire, but her daughter is still alive. She's a frail little thing, but doing well enough. I'll introduce you sometime."
They fell silent for a time, a companionable silence this time. Finally, Happosai spoke. "Those were good times," he said softly. "I guess I'd forgotten, after what came at the end, but those were in many ways the happiest days of my life. A lot of fighting, a lot of fun, and if my curse bothered me too much, all I had to do was fight with Cologne, or at worst steal some lingerie every few months."
"I thought Inspector Cardona was going to go crazy trying to catch the 'Silken Specter,'" Cologne reminisced. "I know he suspected you, or rather 'Hap Sing,' Lamont Cranston's Chinese manservant, toward the end, but he could never prove anything."
"Heh. That twit," Happosai chortled. "It's a good thing we were there, or the criminals would have had a field day." He paused in thought. "It really was a good thing we were there, wasn't it? We did a lot of good.
"In memory of those times, I'll go along with you," he said, turning to Setsuna. "But I'd better warn you, these days it's not easy for me to do someone a good turn unless there's something to satisfy my - needs."
The senshi of Time handed him a piece of paper. "I've written down a general outline here, with a list of the things you'll need." She smiled slightly. "I don't think you'll have any problem."
After a minute or so his attempts to keep a straight face failed and he burst into laughter. "It's perfect. Just perfect. I'll do it." Sobering up, he looked at her curiously. "I don't see what you get out of it, though."
"There are some people I want Ranma to meet. This is merely a way to encourage him to leave the Tendos' house for a while," she said serenely. "After that, I have some plans to get him headed in the right direction."
"And I want your assurance that Ranma will survive this," Happosai said seriously. "If you need him to save Sandra's boy, well, I can't argue with that. I don't want him abandoned, though, just because he isn't working out as your pawn. Yes, I admit I'm just trying to make sure he's still around for me to make use of, but it'll be to his advantage as well as mine to end the school's curse."
"No fear of that," she replied with a grimace. "The primary task I need Ranma for is decades off, and so far, I have no viable backup plan."
"All right, then," Happosai said, his unease not completely
abated. "You want this in two weeks, right? I guess I'd better get
started." He stared at Setsuna for a time before shaking his head
abruptly and leaving the restaurant.
And I remember quiet evenings
Trembling close to you...Ibid.
After Happosai had departed, Setsuna stood up as if to leave, but stopped at the sight of Cologne's upraised hand. "What is it?"
"I noticed," Cologne said carefully, "that you didn't actually tell Happy that his plan to end his school's curse would work."
"No, I didn't," Setsuna said pleasantly.
"Will it?"
Setsuna looked at Cologne thoughtfully for a time, before replying, "I have no idea." Seeing the surprise on Cologne's face, she elaborated. "Due to a variety of factors, including his ancestry and his curses, I am unable to see Ranma's future. Indeed, the future of anyone closely associated with him is murky." She muttered, half to herself, "That's the whole point, after all."
"So you can't tell me if Ranma will marry Shan Pu or not?"
"That's correct."
Cologne studied her closely. "That may be strictly true, but if he is your pawn, you must have some notion of how you mean to play him."
A small smile crossing her face, Setsuna replied, "Quite true. Well then, I think I owe you that much. No, I do not anticipate Ranma marrying Shan Pu."
The old woman sighed. "Not a great surprise. It seems clear his heart is set on the Tendo girl." She shook her head. "At least that should cheer up Happosai."
Setsuna stared off into the distance for a time before responding. "I don't think so." Noting Cologne's look of surprise, she elaborated. "Ranma won't be marrying Akane Tendo either. In truth," and Cologne wondered at the expression on her face, half smile, half grimace, "there are no wedding bells in Ranma's future, at least in the way you think."
"Then there's no way we can ever return to the village," Cologne said tiredly. While she was not exactly heart-broken over the news, she was saddened to know that her attempts to modernize Amazon society were doomed to fail. More than that, she was saddened for her great-granddaughter, doomed to disgrace and life-long exile. "I suppose it's of a piece with the rest of my life. I failed my daughter when I let her be raised by those old harridans. I failed my granddaughter when I wasn't even there while she was growing up. It's fitting that I should fail a third time. I just wonder if Shan Pu will end up cursing me the way the other two did."
"I know how you feel," Setsuna murmured. "The last time I saw my daughter, she was wishing me dead."
"Your daughter?" Cologne blinked. "How long ago was that?"
"Longer ago than you would believe. Longer ago than I care to remember."
"What happened?"
"Oddly enough, some of it paralleled your own experience. She had become estranged from us, then came back one day to find her father gone under circumstances which led her to blame me. I haven't seen her since."
"That being so, I don't suppose you have any miraculous solution to my dilemma to propose." Cologne smiled wryly.
"I don't see any-" Setsuna stopped mid-sentence as her eyes narrowed. After a short period of contemplation, she said slowly, "Perhaps I'm overlooking something. The main reason for the rule in question is to encourage the introduction of strong new blood into the local gene pool, correct?"
"The reactionaries on the council would have a fit at hearing you put it that way, but you're essentially correct," Cologne said cautiously. "It's also supposed to cut down on the number of fights we get into with outsiders, though it hasn't always worked that way."
"If Ranma were dead or otherwise - unavailable, shall we say, would Shampoo still be considered to have failed in carrying out her duty?"
"Yes, although it would be possible at that point to bring her back, with some loss in status. The problem, in the terms you used before, is that she wouldn't have brought in the new blood required. Since the fault could be held to be not entirely of her own doing, things would be easier for her. But you've already said you need Ranma alive."
"Leave that to me," Setsuna replied confidently. "With the assistance of an acquaintance of mine, I believe both our ends may be served." And the two old friends put their heads together, laying their plans far into the night.
The End
**********************************
If you're feeling confused about the background of some of the events mentioned in this chapter, take a look at the chapter posted along with this, "Apotheosis 3.5: A Little Background Music, If You Please."
Be with us next time, as Ranma Saotome drops in on the Masaki household, in "Apotheosis 4: Ranko Muyo!"
"Ranma 1/2" was created by Rumiko Takahashi, and is copyrighted by Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Kitty, Fuji TV, and Viz Communications (USA). "Sailor Moon" was created by Naoko Takeuchi, and is copyrighted by Naoko Takeuchi, Kodansha, and Toei Animation. "Tenchi Muyo! Ryo-oh-ki!" was created by Kajishima Masaki, and is copyrighted by AIC/Pioneer LDC, Inc.